Untie

I pick up a leaf from here
Whose name is on it
I pick up another leaf from there
Whose name is on it
See I have many leaves now
I want to give you all of these
Take it all
But there is a thread
Tightly knotted with the leaves
Untie it
Untie it
Yes you can
Then all yours
One side of thread  is heading to me
Tied with my ring finger
They say it connects with the heart
Is it?
I don't know
I know to ask you to untie
And take it all
Keeping a side of the thread
To be tied with
My ring finger!

Is it difficult to be vulnerable? Yes,  a person needs safe hands which will not judge him. A person who will equally be vulnerable with him. Empathetic to him. Finding those hands is  not easy either. After all the whole life has gone in putting labels and judging people. And getting judged by them. How to recognize the safe hands even if they are in front of him? And then comes the fear. Would he be judged? Would he be considered as a freak? As a weak person? Would he be heard? And would he be connected with the listener? Would he be left alone? It may take some time to understand and to build the trust. Mostly if a person who fears to be vulnerable and if he wears a tough skin of fake strength to hide his pain. He can be successful in the material sense but feels shallow, disconnected and alone inside. Not being vulnerable  leaves a person only in pain. 

I give an example. I lost my mother when I was fifteen. I was devastated. So was my father. My only support was gone. I was sick of sympathies of people and neglected by my close people. “Who cook for you?” “Does your father take care?” “Is he going to marry again? What will you do then?” "How will you manage alone?" And overhearing those disgusting assumptions about my future. Then I wore the tough skin. I was careful if nobody can see me crying. It started reflecting on my behavior. My communication became formal. Avoiding personal talks. Even with friends. Their parents. I started putting emotional boundaries. I used to answer personal questions with manipulation not revealing my mother’s demise. Things worked. I became successful in hiding myself. No one was able to see my devastated situation. But I became closed.

This trend continued later. I became a happy person, at least in the outer surface. A person without emotion, frustration, sadness, nervousness. The skin became so tough that entering into it became impossible.

Have I lost anything by this? I lost intimacy. I lost precious moments of love and empathy those could be generated. I lost those people who could be my real friend. I became alone with my pains. I became rough. Right people were there. Right people are always there. One person just needs to be in the present. Disturbing memories restrict a person to be open. Yes, It is not a choice but happens by force. But a person has to get rid of those past sad memories and have to keep his eyes open. People are there to give support. Who are empathetic. Accept his vulnerabilities. But finding those people, finding those safe hands is only possible if a person keeps himself open to share and to listen. Yes, fear will be there. To be rejected. But is it possible to be truly heard without being truly revealed ? It needs to start from small. And open to rejection. It is alright to be rejected. Everyone will not be with him neither they are always in the supportive state of mind. Everyone has the right to meet his needs first. But it can’t be a reason to be closed. Being in the present, by developing awareness, a person will be able to accept their acceptation or rejection. The original part comes next. Communication . A person needs to communicate his vulnerability in the right way. To express sadness, frustrations and agony. Slowly he will find the other person is vulnerable too. Both will be open to each other. Empathetic to each other. Will get connected to each other. There is no one on the earth who denies empathy. Being vulnerable will not be difficult anymore. The moments of supports,empathy and love can be generated with authentic vulnerability and a person becomes more powerful. He feels loved.

It is alright to be sad. Let us be vulnerable. Stay connected. Be intimate. Be in love. 

Stepping Stone

The bare footsteps

They are so evident 

Deep and bright

Engrossed with colors 

It took many years to walk 

And it will take more years 

To go back and feel...

Why cover them?

They are so true

Became deeper to deepest

The earlier may not be seen

But they are as true as the later

And with time 

Evolved by goals

Wishes and wisdom

They are so unfeigned you see

Becoming older but graceful

Will keep mark for sure

Why cover them?

To be with the truth

With  you, with myself,

I am walking now

It is nice to be lost and find the way

And stepping ahead to color you... more!