This is a Chess Board. Yes, after playing for years, I am still alive, because I am the king. Others left me, or have been killed. They kept me survived  and I can do anything now. The Opponent is also not very strong, because war has harmed them too, or regular war has made me stronger . A very limited resource left with me and I know I can survive more with these. I cant be defeated easily for sure. But I failed. I failed to to save those resources who were more precious. Whose loss cant be filled up by anything, by anyone. 

Being king is not a good idea then. It is better not to be superior. Being not a king decisions are collective, loss is collective, grief is collective and grieving is collective. I don't want to be superior, I don't want to take decisions alone. I don't want to lose it alone. The few resources left with me , I want to recollect them again  and want to be engrossed in those. Be in the group. I don't want to win neither want to lose. I just want to walk.  In the board, beyond the board.To you , towards you.